The great Lu-Tze once said, "Is it not written that when it rains it pours?" It has been pouring non-stop. I met a sweet and amazing guy, I alienated a friend, I confessed to 5 people, I received an assistantship at graduate school, I heard from my traveling German ex-boyfriend after a month, I'm getting to see old friends again, I have time to breathe before working non-stop the rest of the year. I am awash in emotion. I wish I could think of one thing at once, I wish I could feel one thing at a time. Or maybe I want things to happen, to be right this time. Would it be easier to have gotten married right out of college like I didn't want to? Would it be easier to have the American dream with a house in suburbs three children and two dogs? Is it easier to be what you should be rather than you want to be? No...it's pretending. I am who I am. I want peace and justice in the world. I want to see and know the world. I want to make things happen to make things better. I want to build lasting relationships that will see the other side of life. I know they will I know they have to. How can they not last that long? Plans are not life. Life is what happens right now.
It's easy to think of peace looking at a mountain
It's easy to think of history looking at the sky
Is it better to jump in the fountain
Or follow the words on the sign?
I know EXACTLY what you are feeling, I think. Or at least I know it SO well. Maybe actually jumping in the fountain would be a good thing, what do you think? Not the one near the Symphony, 'coz homeless people wash their underwear in it, but those other ones, where children play. In front of the courthouse.
ReplyDeleteOr any fountain that strikes your fancy.