Convincing

    I'm not ready to do it again, to constantly feel, worry, and wait.  I just want to be me and not worry what others think and how it seems or what my dreams mean.  I want time and space to bloom and grow, to forget to do yoga, to start playing harp, to listen to friends, to be sore after not working out for a long time.  I want every chance to forget and remember, to relish December, and to not think about what others think about my moments of passion, my moments of fire followed by pouring water, stagnant water.  I will move again, but sometimes, I just need to be still, to understand myself and be understood by those who know me best.  Freedom is what I want.  Freedom to ebb and flow, freedom to fade and grow.  Freedom to be the best parts of me and even the boring, unattractive parts in between.  Space and time and all that's mine.  That is what I want.